Damn Heart

Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Day 8 on Lexapro.
9:54pm
Today my heart hurts. Emotionally and physically. Shards of something I thought was real pierce my bare feet, and I bleed. I thought I was more calloused than that. I thought I was tougher. I thought I could withstand this kind of pain and keep moving forward. Damn heart. [...]

Flashback: Sad.

I felt an overwhelming feeling of sadness…and frustration…and disappointment. The disappointment I felt was born of the fear that I had so sorely disappointed others and was less inspired by any disappointments that might have come my way…though I felt pain from those, too. These feelings weighed upon me and covered me like a heavy, [...]

Flashback: NYC

drawn by me, circa 1997-1998
I remember sitting at the edge of the fountain at Lincoln Center…people milling all around me. I remember wishing I was part of it…wishing I knew someone. Wishing I had a reason to be there…somewhere to go. But another part of me enjoyed being unto myself. At that time [...]